Breaking Point?

It’s actually really funny how simple advice is when it comes to relationships. It’s so logical but yet we complicate it so much. I think we tend to not follow the advice maybe because we don’t think it’ll work. It seems easy but then again, I’ve never been in an actual relationship so who am I to say anything? I guess my question to the people in the universe who are in a relationship with problems is why would you not want to better your relationship? I don’t know everyone’s situation but I wonder when the breaking point is.

Then again, when it comes to friendship relationships I would be hypocrite. I had a guy best friend at one point. One of the best guys around, but we had our own problems. Some very irrational. Some very real. I could have made it work. I could have turned an ugly situation into a wonderful thing, but I didn’t want to. I think I didn’t want to because of the possibilities that could come from it. I think  at that time I was afraid that I could be happy. I have a problem with people caring about me. I have a problem with someone wanting to be there for me. I have a hard time letting those who I care about in. I guess the question I have for myself is, what is my breaking point? When do I finally say enough is enough? When do I let my heart be cared for? When do I let myself be love another person?

I love the idea of a relationship, even though I’ve never been in one. I read love stories and hope for a love like that, but still knowing that it’s not real life. I love the idea of loving someone for the rest of my life. Having a forever best friend. Having that one person that learns and grows with you. But there is a part of me that thinks it will only be an idea. I wonder if my relationship will end like my parent’s marriage did. I wonder if anyone will love me even though I’m afraid. I worry that I won’t be able to give my whole heart away. I worry that I won’t love that person to the full extent and that they won’t either. I go to class and I learn all these tips tricks and applicable advice about how to have meaningful and successful relationships, but what if I can’t? 

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